I am known by my friends and family for wearing black. I have always worn it and I always will! After all- black is the new black.
I loved pink and turquoise and burgundy (obviously) too once upon a time, but then the depression hit…..
It took away my desire for laughter, for motion, for love, for color, for life.
I let the depression take it all away. Life was only black t-shirts, black denim and a black sweater no matter the temperature. Depression led me to believe I had finally grown into a uniform- a pinnacle of fashion to some. What it did not tell me was that I had lost a large part of myself- my desire and willingness to try new and bold looks.
Depression does that.
It pulls you into a dark hole and blocks all hope of ever seeing the light again.
It can make you fear the light, dread it and deny it.
One color I’ve sworn off for years for fear of a jaundice appearance is yellow. I figured that in finding my sense of “wild” style again I would push myself to the very edge of my comfort zone and try mustard yellow. Yet I wasn’t ready to let go of old faithful: my trusted base for any look regardless of season, a black tissue turtleneck and black denim. The luxe silk scarf and gorgeous velvet bow heels of this look mocked my disdain for yellow with their cheery and rich tones. Pairing the comfort zone of my go to base with fresh and zippy accessories made this look a brave win!
3 Ways to Try a New Look
1: Start with your comfort level.
If I had thrown on a bright yellow dress I would have felt uncomfortable and hated myself. Because of this, I chose a jewel tone (I love any shade in this group!) mustard yellow to ease myself into the shade. By starting with an outfit I feel good in and love, I was setting myself up for success.
Not only does this philosophy work for fashion but it also works for life. Is depression stealing you from your friends? It has a way of making it difficult to get out of bed, to even get dressed some days. Start with your comfort level: ask a friend to come watch Mary Kate and Ashley movies with you, move to the couch, make a Starbucks run.
2: Start small.
I didn’t run out and buy a huge fluffy yellow sweater or a full tracksuit (which in any color could be a bad life decision)! I found small accessories that I genuinely adored. These velvet mules caught my eyes on Asos, my immediate thought was I would never. They sold out but for weeks I looked at the sold out page just to admire the shoes. The second the restocked I knew I need to make the plunge, when I saw the matching silk headscarf I jumped headfirst. When wanting to try a new look start small: a hair accessory or sunglasses can be cheap but enough to help you embrace change.
Small changes add up to BIG differences.
Are you not who, what or where you want to be? Do you constantly have a list of things in your life that need to be done or change? I know I struggle with both of these. Take the time to write it out. Chose ONE small thing and change it today. Chose a new one next week. Ultimately these small changes with make your life radically different.
3: Start letting go.
Letting go of my collection of ratty black tees and pilly black sweaters meant I had to find something else to wear. I invested in some cashmere black sweaters for a chic base and some different accessories to try a new look affordably. Find what is overdone in your wardrobe and replace it with something you have been wanting to try.
Letting go can be the hardest thing.
Depression makes you think you can’t. It holds on to every negative and terrible thought, idea and feeling you have ever had. The black hole traps all of the bad and blocks out any hope for good. What are you holding onto that you struggle to move forward from? I was holding onto a negative relationship, doubt in myself, anxiety about the future and pain of the past. I’m still working on letting go, but I have taken the first steps.
If you need help doing the same PLEASE reach out to family, friends or myself- I’m a message away!
What’s your fashion fear? What’s holding you back?
PS: This ENTIRE EXACT look is linked below (everything is under $70)! And the shoes are back in stock- for the fourth time.
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Starting small is the perfect suggestion for trying to climb out of something deep. Little by little by little, you’ll see the progress 🙂
-xo, Azanique | https://www.lotsofsass.com
Love your mostly black look! And the words in your post. Starting small is something I plan to focus on this second part of the year.
It’s really the only way to make changes that will last. If you ever need a sound board for support I am only a DM away! Hugs!
The head looks amazing on you!. I love colors and how they each make me feel
Thank you for opening up about your depression! I know everyone is different and I’m not a mental health professional or anything but for me, wearing even a small amount of color does help with my mood! Good for you for getting out of your comfort zone!
You are so right! My therapist was telling me about color therapy and that wearing certain colors can help with certain moods. It was a fascinating thought and one that I feels must hold some validity.
I love wearing bright colors – but basic black is ALWAYS a classic!!!
Absolutely! You can never go wrong with it!
I totally agree! Specially with number 2. I have made the mistake to make a big change all of the sudden and then I regretted it.
Black is one of my favorite colors as well. It’s nice to switch it up by adding colors.
You have the most gorgeous aesthetic! I love how varied and yet cohesive it is. Love you babe!
Thanks for opening up and sharing pieces of your story! Good idea to start small when looking to add more color. I really love that headband on you!
Thank you so much for reading and letting me know what you thought of it! Have a super weekend. Hugs!
Love wearing black as well because it is so classic and chic! So cute how you styled it with the scarf and velvet mules.
cute & little
You can never go wrong with it!
I try not to limit myself with colors, but I definitely have an aesthetic I’m trying to achieve with certain colors (black is certainly a favorite in fall/winter). Break out of that cycle girl! Loved this post xo